How to “block” someone who has offended you?

A friend recently posted this question in my group, “does anyone have a script on blocking people  bothering?”

Well, I am not privy to the circumstances under which this question came from. However, I am highly impressed by the level of consideration and maturity of this friend. This friend is surely bothered by the other person to such a level that she would like this person out of her life. However, she is mindful of preserving her own and her offenders self-respect and dignity whilst removing the other person from her life. The strength of her character is easily revealed in this situation.

She is not only mindful of her own feelings but also the feelings of the person who is bothering her. She has already made the decision to remove this person from her life. However, she is seeking appropriate solutions to gently and compassionately do the needful. How thoughtful is that!!! On the scale of 1 to 10 for compassion and empathy, with 1 being lowest and 10 being highest, I give you 10 on 10 marks my dear friend.

In all the years of being active on social media, where blocking another person happens at the click of a button or worst-lashing out at the other person whilst hiding behind the anonymity of the virtual world, this is the very first time I have encountered a query from someone asking for a script or a procedure to block another from their life in a manner in which both parties can part ways in a respectful manner.

So here is my generic process or script, which I have been putting together for a while on “How to block someone who has offended you”. Hope this helps.

Consider this:-

Have you been so offended by someone you know, that you just want to lash out and block that person out of your life?

This someone could be a parent, sibling, colleague, friend or any other associate with whom you are close to or well acquainted.

If this is the case, then I am sharing some pointers with you, which you would want to consider before taking any action.

We meet a number of people as we journey through our life. People come into our life, not by chance or by accident. There is a definite purpose why someone has come into your life. There is a past connect between you and that person, there are some lessons to learn and teach between the two of you and that is why this person has come into your life.

Once the lesson has been learnt or taught, that person leaves your life. A situation will arise in your life, which will compel either or both of you to take some action, which will end the relationship. This action taken could be a swift, one nasty comment, which could end the relationship or a long drawn out back and forth between the two of you, which would eventually culminate into the end of the relationship.  The trigger for this separation could be anything. But as per the Laws of Karma, once the reason for that person coming into your life is done, they exit forever.

However, there is a probability that this person would come back into your life, if the method of parting ways with that person has generated either “good” or “bad” Karma. Let us explore this Law of Karma a bit further.

People do things, which YOU might feel, perceive or interpret as offensive and you just don’t want to be a part of that person’s life. This is fine. You are exercising your right to end this relationship and move on. However, HOW you end this relationship is the moot question. The Action that you take, (your mannerism, tone, words you use, method), to end a relationship, IS A REFLECTION OF WHAT IS INSIDE OF YOU.

If you are initiating the departure of this person from your Life, remember this- The manner in which you choose to let go of this person from your life, whether under unpleasant circumstances or with love and gratitude for you, is in your hands. This is where your Free Will comes into the picture.

Law of Karma

Now, this is the Law of Karma– Any thought, emotion or action you take, for any and every situation or person in your Life, gets logged into your individual Karma file as “good” or “bad”.

If you have generated “good” karma, by taking action which has culminated into a loving, peaceful, respectful and harmonious feeling within the two of you, then a dose of “good” Karma gets logged into our Karma folder.

If you generated “bad” Karma, by taking action which has culminated in painful, negative, disrespectful, undignified and sad feelings in either of you, whilst closing a relationship, then a dose of “bad” Karma gets logged into your Karma folder.

By the “Laws of Karma” whichever Karma is generated by your thoughts, emotions or actions, “Life” gives you an “opportunity” to balance out your Karmic give and take with the other person at another point in your Life. Albeit, this opportunity might be in your current life or any future Lives. The only catch is, exactly when this opportunity presents itself cannot be foretold. This opportunity could be presented to you in this life or the next. But be assured, that if you have generated “Good” or “Bad” Karma, whilst removing this person from your Life, your Life will give you an opportunity to “reap the benefits” of your thoughts, emotions and actions.

My Personal take on relationships

I am big on valuing relationships. I try my best to nurture a loving, compassionate, harmonious relationship, as I am mindful of the Laws of Karma and also, I value the Soul journeys of all beings. Each individual is so precious to me, be it humans or animals or consciousness in any other form.  I would try to be mindful of how I treat the other person- with love, respect, dignity, compassion and empathy, under any circumstances. If I get to know that I have inadvertently offended someone, I will make an attempt to amicably resolve this issue.  Even if the relationship has to end, I would ensure that we part ways in a peaceful, loving and harmonious manner and try to ensure that there are no hard feelings within myself or the other. My mission is to become like a rolling stone which gathers no moss.

I have no intention of creating a “bad” or “negative” Karma, which will come back to me for resolution at a later time or life. I would try to tie up all the loose ends, in this lifetime, in an amicable and compassionate manner to ensure that the next time I meet that person, the interaction would a positive experience for both of us. I will try to ensure a positive closure of the relationship.

Anyway, If you really want this person out of your life, then it is better to log in “good and positive” Karma in your folder, because your Life is definitely going to bring this person back into your Life to reap the “benefits” of your “good” or “bad” Karma. This is a given.

You need to ask your Self if you would be able to live peacefully, knowing that your thoughts, emotions and actions have created negativity within yourself and or the other person. Because, the way you end a relationship will definitely develop “positive” or “negative” impressions about you within you as well as in the other person. Also, the shift in energies you send out, as a consequence of your thoughts, emotions and actions, will have an impact on your own energy field.

So the choice is yours. When your life presents this person to you again, would you want to meet this person with happiness or angst? Would you want to live with the knowledge that in your attempt to block your relationship with the person, whom you think has offended you, you have done justice to yourself and the other person? Have you envisioned that your actions generated happy or painful experience in the other person? Have you ensured that the energies you have emitted will take you to your higher good self? Have you ensured that whatever comes around to you, by the Laws of Karma, are “good and positive” experiences?

Understand this very carefully, if you have felt offended by someone’s words or actions, it is YOUR responsibility to find out why YOU have been offended. The other person or the whole world can do whatever they want. You cannot control them. But what you need to ask yourself is “Why did I get offended” before you take any action to end a relationship. You need to do somethings to ascertain if what YOU felt offensive is really warranted.

Checklist

Here is a checklist of what you should ask your Self before you block that person out of your life:-

1. • • “Am I going through something in my own life which has probably created an imbalance in me?” This imbalance affects the way you perceive any situation in your life.

      

      

     • “Am I sure that I have viewed the situation in a holistic manner?” Getting an overall perspective is very important as Life operates in different dimensions and understanding the person or the situation from different dimensions will help you perceive the person in the correct light.

      

      

     • “Am I sure that I have no imperfections, by virtue of which I have acquired the right to judge other people?” You may be familiar with the saying, “when you point one finger at another, there are 3 fingers turned towards you”. Before you think of pointing your finger at another person, think of looking towards your self, identifying your own imperfections and becoming a nicer, kinder, compassionate person. Understand that you have no right to judge another person for the way they live or conduct themselves is their life. What is in your hands is unconditional acceptance of the other “Soul” going through their own journey of “Life”. And, as we speak of Souls, ALL consciousness is a part of each other. Which means, your soul is a part of the other person’s soul. So knowing this, how would you treat your Soul?

      

      

     • “Am I sure that I am focusing on the innumerable positives of the other person?” Humans have trained themselves to focus completely on the negative aspects of Life, situations and other people. This has happened over millenniums during the evolutionary process. You need to reprogram your mind to look at the positives of other people and turn a complete blind eye towards their negatives.

      

      

     • “Do I view “Life” in either BLACK or WHITE and no in-between shades?” A perfectionist views Life only at the extremes. Either it is right or wrong, black or white, left or right. There is no in between. However, here is a fact, “Life” operates ONLY in between the Black or white, left or right, right and wrong. Life has innumerable shades of GREY, and you need to develop a vision which shows you these shades of Grey.

      

      

     • “Am I deriving my judgement of the person and the situation from a space of assumptions, high ego, low self-esteem, jealousy, anxiety, fear, depression, low mental, emotional and spiritual quotient (MES-Q)?” If you have any of these internal weaknesses, I suggest you First plug in all the “Chinks in your Armor” and only then think anything about the other person.

      

      

     • “Have I exercised tolerance whilst evaluating this person’s actions?” In this day and age, Intolerance for fellow humans, animals, and all consciousness is so low that we tend to dismiss all that is outside of us with a smirk. Intolerance is a major contributing factor of all the unrest that is happening within you, which is eventually manifesting itself in the outside world, as bitterness increases within you.

      

      

     • “Am I stuck in the “Me, Myself and I” phase?” Spiritual evolution requires that every individual looks within to find an answer to the question, “Who am I”. However, the actual reason for this query got lost in translation, and humanity is left with primary focus on the “Me, Myself and I” in a manner which is completely self-centered, selfish, egotistical, and devalues the existence of every being which is outside of yourself. You need to make the transition from “I” to “Us” if you really want to maximize your Spiritual Quotient.

      

      

     • “Am I sure that I have not done or said anything, which has offended the other person?” If you come from a space that you are perfect and everyone around you doesn’t deserve your consideration, chances are that you have offended the other person in some way or another. This other person is either mature enough to let your imperfections go or is blessed enough not to perceive any offence from you.

      

      

      

     • “Have I looked at the larger picture of Life?” This larger picture includes your requirement (as per the Laws of Karma) to be kind, considerate, respectful, compassionate and empathetic to fellow human beings and all those who possess a consciousness.

      

      

     • “Am I sure that my actions are empowering myself and the other person?” If you come from a space of being Self Centered, chances are that you are considering taking action to block this person from your life in a manner which will make you feel empowered and make the other person feel disempowered. Consider a path which would positively empower both of you, an action which would preserve your own and the other persons dignity and self-respect, not only in your own eyes but also in the eyes of the other person.

      

      

     • “Does the action I am planning to take to end the relationship, help the person reach a higher level of consciousness or put them down in the dumps, in pain and suffering?” I understand that it is the responsibility of every individual to work towards their own higher level of consciousness. However, if you yourself have embarked on your journey of self-realization to reach your own higher level of consciousness, you would consider it your duty to leave a positive enriching mark on other people, which would facilitate their journey towards reaching a higher level of consciousness. You would be mindful of your own actions.

      

      

      

     • “Have I considered the other persons point of view? Or is it just my imagination?” As they say, every coin has two sides. Every individual has a specific reason why they act or behave in a particular manner. Have you tried to understand why that person behaved in a manner which YOU found offensive? And why is it that only YOU were offended by this person’s behavior or actions or whatever it is that offended you? Have you tried to find out how other people perceive this person? It is so easy to think that what you feel/see/perceive is the only truth and nothing but the truth.

      

      

      

     • “Have I given the other person the benefit of doubt?” For all you know, this person may not even be aware that they have offended you. They might be going about their life as usual, being themselves. Have you considered that may be, just maybe, there is a possibility that you could perceive the situation differently?

      

      

      

     • “Am I living with the notion that MY reality is the only reality and that the world revolves around my reality?” Most people perceive and go through their lives with blinders placed by the side of their eyes, which gives them a one sided myopic view of their life. Try viewing the world and your Life through other dimensions and other realities of Life as there are definitely more dimensions to your life than what you can see and perceive.

      

      

      

     • “Was the other person actually wanting to offend me?” Intentions behind an individual’s actions mean everything. Even the court of Law looks into the intentions of a person who has committed a crime before sentencing them. Was the person intentionally trying to offend you? Do you have the curtsy of engaging a dialogue/ two way discussion with the other person to give them an opportunity to express their point of view? This dialogue, I assure you, would be quite a revelation to you.

      

      

      

     • “Am I acquainted with the concept of “Forgive and Forget?” Apart from the Divine Elevated Souls, I doubt there is a single living soul who has not been hurt by another person. We carry all this hurt as burdens, which we feel we are compelled to carry with us throughout our lives and also into other lifetimes. These burdens, as they become heavier within us, tend to clog up space meant for positive thoughts and compel us to perceive situations only in the negative light. It is in the best of your interest to expel this hurt from your system to make room for more life enriching experiences. Practice Forgive and Forget.

      

      

      

     • “Am I courageous enough to look the person in the eye and address my concerns/ feelings with the other person, in a constructive manner, which would help resolve my angst, take my relationship to a higher level of understanding and bonding or end the relationship amicably?” In this day and age of social media, people don’t think it is necessary to be courteous, thoughtful and mindful of other people’s feelings and emotions. They find it convenient to lash out at their perceived offender by sending nasty messages on one of the social media platforms and then conveniently blocking the other person. This manner of ending a relationship or an association does not say much about you in a positive light. If you are really on your Path to Prajñā in your quest to improve your “Self”, you will need to take a deeper look at your own Self to find answers to all the above questions.

This checklist is a compilation of basic curtesy, from one human to another human. Every ending requires a proper closure, with the scales dipping heavily towards memories which are happier and positive for all.

Even of you have missed the bus of considering the above checklist, you became the judge, jury, executioner and ended the relationship in a huff, lashing out at the other or in an unamicable manner, fear not. You can always and at any time, pick up the phone and resolve any misunderstanding you have in your mind.

If you have not yet acted on your desire to block the other person from your Life, I urge you to go through the above checklist and arrive at an appropriate plan of action which would take you as well as the other person to a higher, happier and deeper understanding of the self and the universe.

If you choose to pick up the phone to amicably resolve your concerns, for more information on how to handle this phone call, and how to overcome any of your concerns in the above checklist, read my Amazon #1 bestselling book, My Path to Prajñā https://amzn.to/35C1ckT or get in touch with me contact@path2prajna.com

Love, healing light and Blessings.

Leena R Prabhoo

Leena R Prabhoo

Amazon #1 Bestselling Author, Prajñā Strategist, Spiritual & Mental Health Coach, Recipient of TOP 100 HEALTHCARE LEADERS AWARD (DUBAI), Prajñā Strategist, Spiritual & Mental Health Coach, Certified Past Life Regression Therapist, Certified Telepathic Communicator & International Speaker

Over the last 30 years, I have been helping people get on to their Path to Prajñā so that they can skillfully & effectively handle “Challenges” which Life throws at them. I Coach people to Navigate Life Skillfully to Live Life Successfully so that you can Be What you CAN be. Grab your copy of my Amazon #1 Bestselling book My Path to Prajñā https://www.amazon.in/My-Path-Prajna-Leena-Prabhoo/dp/1635354544/